i hate it

i hate that i'm torn..
i'm torn between a precious past and a promising future..
between memories and dreams..
between happiness and tears..
i hate that i'm being unfair but i can't let go..
i hate that both of you can make me smile and cry at the same time..
i hate that whenever i look into your eyes, i know that i can get to hurt you..
i hate that i can't stand seeing you in pain because of me.. heaven knows, i feel twice as much..
i hate that my happiness would cost someone pain..
i hate this feeling.. i hate myself for this situation..

thank you

your smile uplifts me and vanquishes my sadness..
your kiss eases my pain and dries my tears..
your touch comforts me and defeats my madness..
your love shelters me and conquers my fears..

thanks for the rose * thanks for the poem * thank you for your everyday surprises

friday night reunion

last friday night, me and my dear sisters (malen, cai and roanne) finally found time to hang out again.. we first ate at gotti's megamall.. hmmm.. the pizza was ok but i didn't like the pasta.. after dinner, we went straight to starbucks where we were just supposed to kill time while waiting for the midnight food bazaar.. but there were so much to talk about that we ended up having a good conversation over coffee instead of the bazaar..

after five years of friendship, im just so happy that we still have each other.. there were a lot of misunderstandings, a lot of problems, a lot of ups and downs.. but here we are, listening to each other's woes, sharing happy moments, learning from our mistakes, gathering strength from each other and making more treasured memories..

sana

sana masaya na lang palagi
sana pag mahal mo, hindi na nawawala sayo
sana lahat nakakaintindi
sana hindi masayang lahat
sana makaya ko to...

rainy day

i'm not really sure if i like the rain more than the sun.. i remember back in grade school, i love the rain because that would mean no classes and not having to listen to boring teachers.. but now that i really don't have to attend any class, the rain would mean just staying at home the whole day because i'm too lazy to hold an umbrella and its irritating when your shoes and clothes would still be wet even if you're patiently holding your umbrella..

so since today is a very rainy day, i decided not to go anywhere outside my dear home.. i started the day with hot chocolate and inipit for breakfast.. then i borrowed kuya's laptop and checked my mails.. after maybe a couple of hours, me and kuya had bulalo and embutido for lunch.. after lunch, i just took advantage of our new sofa and watched tv.. while watching, i finally had a chance to publish some of my draft posts here..

roanne consulted me a while ago about the code she's doing.. then i realized i miss coding.. i miss testing and i miss debugging.. but i'm not sure if i want to work already.. i think i want to enjoy a few more weeks at home or at some other place doing the things that i want to do..

tiring but happy day

i'm so glad malen and i met today.. we had a very short conversation, but i felt like i was relieved from all the stress that i was feeling lately because of a certain issue.. i guess i just needed someone to listen to me patiently.. u know, i'm not the person who rant and rant every time something happens, sometimes my friends need to ask me pa questions to know the real story.. but there are just some things that i have to let go out of my system for the sake of not getting too fed up..

after seeing my dearest sister, i went to UP to request for a true copy of grades.. i don't actually plan to get one, but since roanne requested me to get hers, i might as well apply one for myself.. i walked from AS to Engg, then Engg to SC and finally SC to Engg.. i got a little tired but i agree with malen, walking in UP also brings me peace..

i went to Astra after and watched someone special play basketball.. i actually thought the game will be postponed(again) because of the rain, but we were lucky enough that the skies allowed the game to push through.. unfortunately, Astra All Stars didn't win the game but it was a game worth watching.. both teams are great..

to end the day, me, roanne, fafs and jc had dinner at burger king sm north..=)

my new friend

a very special someone gave it to me on the 25th day of our friendship.. i was tired and kinda irritated yesterday, but when i saw this, it made me smile and feel a lot better..