on the positive side

ok.. so i wasted time, money and effort on that interview because it turned out they needed someone with two years experience and yeah, one of the hr is a "friend".. but as they say, if bad things come your way, try to count the blessings you have and it will surely make you smile..

well, if i look at the brighter side, maybe i didn't waste time,money and effort at all because i had lunch with one of my long-time best friend julie.. too bad i forgot to take a picture.. we had so much to talk about even if we just met last friday.. its always nice to feel that old feeling.. julie and i used to go to megamall almost every weekend during our junior year in high school.. we were like going back to those days, but these time, we were both wearing business attires.. oh, how time flies.. today is the 5th year anniversary of our hs graduation..

also, i had a date with adrian.. he treated me in pancake house for dinner.. afterwards, we went to st. agatha to check out the resort there.. as always, just being with anyone in my family can make my very sad day very much ok..

to sum it all, i just had a bad start of the day but aside from that, every thing else turned out nice and sweet..

i always believe that in life, you get what you deserve.. but my family and friends are exeptions to that rule.. they're more than what i deserve..

horoscope

i should have read my horoscope before i left home this morning..

If you're expecting progress today, you need to prepare for a bit of disappointment. See if you can get yourself to accept that a bit of a slowdown is vital before real progress can be made.

i know its hard to pass an interview.. but it gets even harder if one of the hr people is a familiar face and you soon realize its someone you had a fight during high school.. maybe you forgot the fight but she didn't because you made her cry.. big time.. with all the hagulgol..

oh gosh, of all the places in the world dun pa kami nagkita.. and what's worse, i'm the applicant and she's the hr..

a prayer

Lord, i know i'm not as religious now as i am during highschool
i'm not doing my Wednesday novena anymore
sometimes i even fail to attend the Sunday mass
and maybe i don't do Your will, though i know i must

but i really need You right now
i know You're the only person who knows me inside out
without saying a word or shedding a tear
even in silence, everything i say, You hear

You must be telling me something
maybe even whispered to my ear
but help my mind make it clear
help my heart stand my fears

3rd night

this is my third night of not being able to sleep.. for the past two nights i'm crying my way to sleep..

maybe its about the room.. since papa's friend is staying at our place, i sort of camped here in my brothers' room.. during daytime, i enjoy my stay here because i think we were able to bond more and talk about anything under the sun.. i actually missed sharing a room with them as we did during our childhood.. but when its already sleeping time, even if i roll myself and try different positions just to get some sleep, it just won't visit me..

or maybe its about all the thoughts that keeps on haunting me until now.. haaay.. there are a lot of questions that i want to find answers.. a lot of things needed to be done.. and a lot of decisions that i must be brave enough to face..

im confuse

in just one night, i've realized a lot of things..
in just one meeting, i again met reality ..

i suddenly felt confused..
i'm tired but i can't force my mind to rest..

now i'm scared of facing the next day..
of what i can or what i may..

before, i thought i was happy and contented..
after, i felt weak and uncertain..

haay..

Love, Magic, Illusion

pano natin masasabing mahal natin ang isang tao?..

sapat na bang alam natin na gusto ntin cia plaging kasama.. na napapatawa ka nia sa panahong malungkot ka.. na nsasandalan mo cia kpag may problema ka.. na handa niang gawin kahit anong iutos mo..

paano ba tlga ipakita ang pagmamahal?

kpag hinigpitan tau, sasabihin natin, nasasakal tayo...
kpag nman maluwag, sasabihin natin, wala syang pakeelam...

ano nga bang mas tama?

..."pag mahal mo, ipaglaban mo" o "pag mahal mo, hahayaan mo ciang maging masaya khit hindi sa piling mo"

gaano ka nakakasiguradong mahal mo ang taong kapiling mo ngayon?

sigurado ka bang mahal mo talaga cia.. o bka naman nanghihinayang ka lang sa tagal ng pinagsamahan nio.. kpag sinasabihan mo ciang mahal mo cia araw-araw, tnanong mo na ba sa sarili mo, kung totoo pa ba yung sinasabi mo, o bka nman nasanay ka na lng sabihin yun sa kanya.. sigurado ka bang gusto mo tlaga ciang makasama dahil mahal mo cia, o bka nman dahil natutuwa ka lng sa company nia..

do u really love him? or you just love the IDEA of you, loving him..

LOVE can be MAGIC.. but sometimes... magic is just an ILLUSION..

i did it!

since last week i decided to take dieting seriously.. i didn't eat rice except for the tapsilog in rodiks which i really can't resist.. hehe..

today i was able to stay on my stationary bike for 1 hour and 4 seconds and according to the bike, i lost 126 calories.. though i know the calories count is not accurate, i'm still proud i was able to do it 1 hour straight.. hehe..

on seattle's best

i love coffee, but somehow i just didn't enjoy the cup i ordered from Seattle's best.. its my first time to try their coffee since i always go for Starbucks for frappe and cold drinks, and Coffee Bean for relaxing warm drinks.. cheskie and i tried seattles yesterday for a change.. i ordered white chocolate mocha and she got black and white mocha.. but i didn't enjoy both.. its not something you would go back for.. sayang, i wanted pa naman to get their vip card, the barista told me that i can get a vip card for an accumulated receipt of 15oo..

not worth it

malen and i missed headstrong's company exam.. because of what? because of a freaking title of a thesis paper for a competition.. haay.. its not worth it talaga.. even if we win that competition i think i will still not be happy about missing the company exam.. even 50k will not be enough to compromise a company we both want to join..

bongga

i just have to share this, i had a bonggang away with the bongga sa kabastusang tindera ng mega exchange sa pampangga (if youre planning to buy a new phone, don't dare to buy in this shop, sobra tlgang bastos ng tindera).. its been years since i had a fight with someone.. you see, i think i developed a long patience since i worked for a job that deals with different kinds of character and levels of understanding.. but this girl made me really angry.. first of all, sira na ung binenta niang phone kay kuya.. we made an effort to go back to pampangga the next day para ireplace nila un or better yet money back na lang.. but when we got there, wala daw silang stock at maghintay daw kami ng ilang oras pa.. my god, kami na nga ung pinerwisyo nilang bumalik pa dun, the nerve naman nilang paghintayin pa kami ng ilang oras.. then we suggested na money back na lang, aba, ang loka2 sbi wala d daw sila ngrerefund.. cmon, hindi ba nila alam na bawal un??.. but that's not all, she called the oic para un na lang ang kausapin namin.. so i talked to this shit oic of theirs, i asked her to give me an estimate kung anong oras xa andon, coz its really not right na paghintayin pa nila kami.. you know what she said? "miss, hndi naman ako pwedeng magkaron ng pakpak at lumipad papunta jan".. ay talagang nakakapanginig sila ng laman.. bastusan pala kung bastusan eh.. san ka naman nakakita ng tinderang nakaperwisyo na lang sa customer eh bastos pa kung sumagot! eto pa, wala daw talaga silang refund and i said bawal sa batas ung ginagawa nila.. sbi ba naman, pwede daw silang gumawa ng sarili niang batas.. tanga tlaga, san kaya nag-aral tong babaeng to at akala nia pwede xang gumawa ng batas against philippine law.. after ilang sagutan, she said kung refund daw, kalahati na lang makukuha namin sa price nung phone, eh adik pala talga xa, idadamay pa ko sa katangahan nia.. ano akala nia skin, gago? kahapon lang binili, sira pa ung binenta nila tpos ngayon refund kalahati na lang?? at dahil wala akong panahong makipag-usap sa ganyang tao, binagsakan ko xa ng phone.. ung tipong masisira na ung phone nila.. at hndi pa jan nagtatapos ang away.. so after mga 3 and a half hours, bumalik kami dun.. at andun na ung gagong oic, kabanat2 ba naman, "sino ung kausap ko knina?" with nakakainis na tono.. wala pa kong sinasabi non ha.. xa pa tlga nagsimula.. then i said "ako, bkit?".. sbi ba naman, wag daw akong mambabagsak ng phone dahil madali naman silang kausap.. eh sira tlga ulo nia, kung xa madaling kausap, hndi xa mababagsakan ng phone.. kung hndi xa bastos, hndi ko rin xa babastusin.. eh kaso nakalimutan nia ytang ako ang customer at xa ang tinderang nagbenta ng sirang phone.. kung makapagsalita xa parang xa pa ung naperwisyo.. eh d sbi ko nga hindi xa madaling kausap kaya ko binaba ang phone dahil wala kong oras sa kanya.. humirit pa xa ng kung para dun lang sa phone na un, hindi nia sisirain ang pangalan nila.. eh naku, sa sama pa lang ng ugali nia sirang sira na pangalan nila.. bwiset tlga xa! siguro kung ako hndi nanghihinayang sa pera, binato ko pa sa kanya ung phone na un!!! pasalamat xa at pinigilan ako ni kuya kung hndi irereport ko talga xa sa dti! naku, kung pwede lang ipapasara ko pa ung shop na un!! mga bastos talaga!!

my brother's surprise

about 2 in the afternoon, adrian texted me, "ate, what tym ka uwi? my surprise ako sayo".. and i replied, "basta hindi nakakataba, masaya yan.. haha"..

when i got home, the first thing that i saw was this:yeah.. another addition to my gym equipments collection.. haha..

i had a bad day.. but when i got home, faith reminded me again that if everything fails, my family will always be there to make everything alright and make me smile no matter what..

all things bright and beautiful

i was watching game ka na ba this morning and there was a question about this poem.. all things bright and beautiful plays an important part in my life.. i can still remember the days when i hated it because i find too long to memorize, not to mention i have to act while reciting this poem and once in a while try hard to remember the next line.. i remember mama and i was still making last minute changes in my actions, maybe 30 minutes before the competition.. haha.. and after the competition, i loved this poem already, yes i won 3rd place.. i think maybe out of 10 or 12 contestants..

i guess i was very active during grade school, joining academic and non-academic competitions.. though, its rare that mama is there in my competitions.. even to the most memorable one, when i won the 1st place in a quiz bee competition, it was my teacher who was on the picture giving my biggest medal.. that's why i love my winning moment in all things bright and beautiful, mama is there and she's very proud..

now i question myself, ano kayang nangyari sakin nung high school? haha.. i took a complete revolution.. no competitions, no medals, no certificates, no leadership responsibilities.. but i don't have any regrets at all.. i enjoyed high school to the fullest.. as in.. wahaha..

anyway, i asked uncle google for the poem all things bright and beautiful...

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.

Each little flower that opens,
Each little bird that sings,
He made their glowing colors,
He made their tiny wings.

The purple-headed mountain,
The river running by,
The sunset, and the morning,
That brightens up the sky;

The cold wind in the winter,
The pleasant summer sun,
The ripe fruits in the garden,
He made them every one.

He gave us eyes to see them,
And lips that we might tell,
How great is God Almighty,
Who has made all things well.

greenhills trivia

trivia: nagsasara ang greenhills dahil sa reshuffling..
to the rescue: st. francis square

bow.

francis m : a free man

i opened my laptop this morning while watching tv.. it happened to be the sis tribute to francis m.. the next thing i know, i'm searching youtube of videos about him.. i wasn't able to watch eat bulaga last saturday and all the videos i found in youtube touched me.. every video made my cry.. especially when i saw the whole eat bulaga family crying while tito, vic and joey was singing the kaleidoscope world.. to my observation, among the tvj, it was bosing vic whose really affected.. another thing worth noting is that when the balloons were flew, it almost formed the philippine map.. maybe kiko, did it..

i'm not a big fan of francis m.. but i really think he did a great job and he was a great man.. its rare to find a nationalistic man these days.. francis m did his best to promote Philippine pride, through his songs and even through his line of clothing.. he was also a great father to 5 equally talented children.. he's daughter unna even said that kiko would always tell her to do what makes her happy and don't waste time on doing something she doesn't like.. francis m, was also a great photographer.. he was so great that he was able to take a shot of baby grasshoppers..

again, its always true that we'll only realize what we have when we already lost it.. before francis m's death, people didn't realize all of these great things about him.. maybe to most people, he was just an out-of-style rapper.. but the truth is, he's more than what people think he is..

anyway, may i just quote the priest who gave the last mass to francis.. francis m,
"RAP IN PEACE"

today, i decide

i just had a long bath.. hmmm.. 1 hour and 13 minutes to be exact.. no, i didn't time it, i just happened to text someone before i step into the shower..

it feels so good.. i don't have to worry about the time, i'm not running late for a thesis meeting or hurrying to meet someone.. i did everything i miss doing.. from relaxing through the luke warm water to enjoying different kinds of soap.. i pampered myself from my hair down to my feet..

and then i realized, i haven't given myself enough time and attention lately.. i've always been proud to have the habit of treating or rewarding myself but right now, i can't remember the last time i did that..

so today i decide to bring back that old habit.. i decide to relax more.. spend more for myself.. and takecare of myself even more..

i want

i think i want to try digital perm.. hehe.. maybe i'll try this one instead of relaxing my hair again.. para new look.. =)

letter to someone

i don't feel well but i forced myself to see you.. we just had a fight and u said u'll do ur best to make up.. u said u'll take care of me from now on..

even if youre the one who should be picking me up, i still insisted you to continue what you need to do.. i went there, hoping to spend time with you, especially with this should-have-been special day.. we waited for hours to get what you need done.. at the back of my mind, "ok, so ito ung bawi mo?".. but i still tried to be sweet and happy as you want me to be.. i went out coz i need to talk to someone over the net.. i didn't want to talk to the guard to let me in again, so i just waited for you outside.. while waiting, i saw the person i hate so much, ur x.. its the first time i saw her, i didn't know what to do.. but of course, she's the one who can't look at me straight, not after what she have done.. while looking at her, i wanted to slap her or to talk to her bitchly, but i wasn't able to.. something is forcing me not to do so..

after she passed by me, i felt so weak.. i felt the pain again.. its as if everything just happened yesterday.. i wanted to cry right then and then.. but i saw you.. i wiped my close-to-falling tears and smiled.. i told you i saw her, u didn't react.. i told you, "ui, wala kong ginawa", and you bluntly say, "wla ka naman tlga dapat gawin".. i kept quiet.. i was actually willing to forget everything until u said, "wla naman xang kasalanan sayo ha".. not even satisfied, u added "matagal na yun, ano ka ba naman"..

first of all, why does it sound like i'm the bad person here? in case u forgot, ako po ung nasaktan ng sobra, ako ung niloko.. and how dare u say na wla xang kasalanan?!.. anong tawag mo dun?.. yes, it happened months ago, so what? wla na kong karapatang masaktan?.. its so easy for you to tell me to forget about it because you're not the one who shed pails of tears.. you're not the one who forgot your pride and just accepted everything..

had i known that seeing her will make me feel all the hurt again, maybe i just chosed to stay at home and do thesis.. whats worse is, masakit na nga na nakita ko xa, pero mas masakit pa ung mga sinabi mo.. parang ok, tpos na, wla na kong karapatang maramdaman un at wla ka ng pakeelam khit nsaktan pa ko noon dhil tpos na nga un eh.. alam mo kung anong pinaramdam mo skin? na mas knampihan mo pa xa kesa skin.. haay..

ok, so ang ganda ng bawi mo at feel na feel ko ang pag-aalaga mo..